My Mother took these pics during her visit with her fancy DSLR…..I now desperately want one.
I bake with love. It is the most important ingredient that I have. It goes in to everything I make. And today, it is going in to this Peanut Butter Pie….for Mikey, for Jennifer, for my family, for those who are no longer here to enjoy it.
The pie is chilling. And I am emotionally wiped. It has been a heartbreaking week. Hearing of Jennifer losing her husband, Mikey, this past Sunday has left many of us spinning, wondering why?, how?, what now?…an outpouring of love for someone that many of us only know in the virtual world. I have not had the pleasure of meeting Jennifer in person, though I feel as though I know her. I wish I could give her a hug, comfort her, FEED her. I am on the other side of the country, I cannot do any of those things. There are people there to do it for her, and for those of us who cannot be there, we can do one thing for her today…make a Pie for Mikey, at her request. Read the pie story here. I still cannot believe that she was able to string such beautiful words together, but then again that is what we do, we write, we share.
I wanted to share a poem with Jennifer, one that brought me comfort when I lost my Step Father to a sudden heart attack, and then again 10 months later when my Father died. Today I felt their presence as I made this pie. When I share it later today with my boys I will tell them a story about both of them, as I am sure Jennie will do when sharing this pie with her daughters the next time she makes it.
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!
Mary Frye (1932)
I hope you find peace. May your memories and love get you through this incredibly hard time.
I can barely move. The past couple weeks have been a little stressful. My body is rebelling. The worst of it is my neck and shoulders. I woke up this morning in immense pain, to the point that I had to roll out of bed rather than sit up because all my muscles in my neck and shoulders were screaming at me. Torture. Literally. It is now 3pm, I am sitting on the couch stiff as a board, smelling like a wintergreen factory (thank you Icy Hot Rub), with a heating pad across my shoulders, and praying that the boys continue to play nicely upstairs for just a little while longer.
Jakob has noticed that I am not moving as quickly today…that I seem a little stiff. He asked, I told him that I was sore, I think he is now upstairs plotting with Aiden for a hostile takeover. Plotting how to get away with doing all the things that he knows I can’t prevent him from doing. I am afraid to let them out of the house , as there is no way in hell that I could catch them if they decided to take off on me….which Aiden has a tendency to do if he thinks he can get away with it!
Do you ever feel that when you’re under the weather that your kids are plotting against you? Can they smell it on you? No, not the Icy Hot Wintergreen Scent, the weakness – the inability to act as quickly and swiftly as you normally can?
Next time I will be buying the unscented Icy Hot, just in case.