Saturday, June 23, 2012

A Mama

I am a mama to a boy with special needs.  1st step is admitting it right?  Well, not really admitting it, but acknowledging it publicly.  I have known it and talked about it in my private life for a while now.  But here it is….to those who didn’t know or those who doubt it.  

He may not look it. There are no outward signs.  He looks like a happy, healthy 4 1/2 year old. And he IS. He is normal. Perfect, actually.  It takes him a little longer to process your instructions, he throws epic tantrums over things that may seem insignificant to you and I but for him are the end of the world, he doesn’t handle change well, he thrives on routine and familiarity, he is sensitive, he tries to play with others (is actually sometimes desperate to), and gets his feelings hurt when he can’t. 

Aiden has social developmental delays and Sensory Processing Disorder.

So when you see him, don’t judge him or I and the fact that he is still in pull-ups.  He’ll get there, there isn’t any rush. 

When he invades your personal space or cuts through a line, don’t think that I haven’t taught him manners. He doesn’t have the concept of space, how close he is, how far away he is, or that there is a line actually happening. Especially if he is on a mission to get somewhere.

If he doesn’t talk to you, don’t take it personally. He may actually not hear you depending on how focused on something he is.  Or if he yells at you to not talk to him, it may be that you disrupted his thoughts or that the noises around him are too much for him and you just added to it.  He doesn’t mean to do it, it is how he copes and we are working on the yelling.  It has decreased significantly, and will continue to get better. 

As a mother I am doing the best I can, what I believe is the best for my son.  There are too many people out there judging how others parent and quick to make assumptions.  It’s a good thing they don’t have a child with issues.

Aiden is a wonderful child. A very special soul.  He is mine for a reason and I know it.  

I love him. Wouldn’t change a thing.

june20 452

12 comments:

RecipeGirl said...

XO. Aiden is perfect & you are a wonderful mama!!

Tracey Wilhelmsen said...

Look at that sweet face, he's so precious!

Andrew's Mom said...

I'm here whenever you need someone to talk to - I started my blog because my world is so very lonely sometimes. Lots of love to you, your perfect boy and your family.

Paula said...

You are Aiden's perfect Mommy and you wrote a perfectly beautiful post with a very important message. Aiden is such a cutie and I hope he has a wonderful summer.

Team Wallace said...

Agree - Aiden is perfect! He and Jakob are so lucky to have you and Jason as parents. We feel so lucky to be part of such an amazing family's life :)

Jodie said...

What a sweet, beautiful boy you have! And what a beautiful post- he is lucky to have a talented and wonderful mom.

Mia said...

I adore both of you, I hope you know that <3 this post is awesome and you are awesome for writing it.

cathy @ Noble Pig said...

Tania, what a beautiful tribute to a perfect child! He is adorable by the way.

Jamie said...

I know you have the love and resources to be a great mom to Aiden. We'll be thinking of you.

theknottedkitchen said...

Great post Tania! I love ya'll and especially that boy! His smile is infectious!

Susan said...

Tania, I found your blog through a mutual friend, and I'm so glad I did. My 6-year-old son has autism, and so he deals with sensory processing issues, social delays, and some language delays. Your words were just what I needed to hear today--Sam is just as he is supposed to be, even when others might not understand. Thanks for writing this. --Susan

Susan said...

Tania, I found your blog through a mutual friend, and I'm so glad I did. My 6-year-old son has autism, and so he deals with sensory processing issues, social delays, and some language delays. Your words were just what I needed to hear today--Sam is just as he is supposed to be, even when others might not understand. Thanks for writing this. --Susan