Thoughtful Thursday

It’s not them, it’s me…

I realized this morning that the escalation in naughty behaviour by my precious little boys isn’t actually so, and that the problem has been with the way that I have been reacting to said behaviour.  I have lost my Zen Mama Groove.  I am usually a much more mellow, easy going Mama.  Not letting the small things get to me.  Something changed.  Since the move here I have been saying that they boys behaviour has deteriorated to the point of disaster, and that I am at my wits end.  But maybe it is me.  Have I just given up trying?  Have I just lost the ability to handle them?  To have fun with them and enjoy their craziness and go with the flow?  I think so.  And this makes me sad. 

I need to lighten up.  Find my place again.  I have started taking the steps to get back into the groove that I enjoy.  Playing with my boys, baking, creating, getting involved in volunteering, learning.  Do what makes me happy.  Tired of worrying what people think or perceive as reality and get back to what really matters.  My boys.  All three of them.  Be kinder.  Talk sweeter. And stop being so hard on myself. 

Thoughtful Thursday

 

Those of you who know the Army, you are not going to be surprised by my next statement.  LOL

Sometimes the Army just doesn’t make sense to me.  Tee Hee.  But seriously, Jason just found out that at the end of June he will be heading BACK to Georgia for two months for a course.  (Don’t ask me what course, I didn’t get too many details)  Crazy right?  We report to Washington March 10th, hopefully get settled quickly and then three months later he is gone for most of summer break, back to where we just left.   Seems a little silly to me.

I should be use to being dropped off in new places and then have him disappear to a course, or deploy.  He has “done it” to me at each duty station.  Not by choice, I understand this, but still…come on people!   This wont be as bad as when we moved to Colorado and he left within a few weeks and left me with no drivers license, no ability to drive for that matter, no friends, a dog, and NO IMMIGRATION status….I did it all by myself that year.  And gained so much independence.  It made me realize that if I had to, I could do it all alone.  Kind of like this last deployment.  I was really scared to be a single mother for a year, but it helped me understand my strength….that if need be we would be JUST FINE.  And now we are happy to have him home and dread the day when he leaves us again…which apparently will be the end of June.

Never a dull moment.  Thank you Army for making me say, HUH?

Saturday....

I really hate to do this..... but I really have nothing to say tonight.
I promise something profound tomorrow. Sorry to those who came by looking for something sweet.

Hope you all are having a great weekend!

Take Care,
Tania
Love Big, Bake Often