Thoughtful Thursday

It’s not them, it’s me…

I realized this morning that the escalation in naughty behaviour by my precious little boys isn’t actually so, and that the problem has been with the way that I have been reacting to said behaviour.  I have lost my Zen Mama Groove.  I am usually a much more mellow, easy going Mama.  Not letting the small things get to me.  Something changed.  Since the move here I have been saying that they boys behaviour has deteriorated to the point of disaster, and that I am at my wits end.  But maybe it is me.  Have I just given up trying?  Have I just lost the ability to handle them?  To have fun with them and enjoy their craziness and go with the flow?  I think so.  And this makes me sad. 

I need to lighten up.  Find my place again.  I have started taking the steps to get back into the groove that I enjoy.  Playing with my boys, baking, creating, getting involved in volunteering, learning.  Do what makes me happy.  Tired of worrying what people think or perceive as reality and get back to what really matters.  My boys.  All three of them.  Be kinder.  Talk sweeter. And stop being so hard on myself. 

Thoughtful Thursday

I am not sure if I have mentioned it on here….but I am starting my own ”Happiness Project”.  If you aren’t familiar with it, you can check out the blog here….and pick up the book here. Gretchen Rubin spent a year working on becoming a happier person, one month at a time, tackling new resolutions and creating her own Twelve Personal Commandments, the Secrets of Adulthood and Four Splendid Truths.

The basic premise of it is taking small steps each month to try to be a happier person!  And this is not to say that I don’t think I am already a happy person, because I am. I love my life.  My marriage is in a great place, even though he is thousands of miles away.  My boys are a joy as always, even when they drive me to pour a glass of wine at 5 pm. And I a loving being a stay at home Mama again, and working on my cookie biz.  I just believe that there are things that I may be missing that could make me a happier person.  Personal growth is never a bad thing right??

I find her Twelve Personal Commandments to be inspiring in themselves.  I forsee post it notes around the house reminding me of them.  Here they are:

1. Be Gretchen – I plan on Being Tania!
2. Let it Go
3. Act the way I want to feel
4. Do it NOW (this is going to be a tough one for me)
5. Be polite and be fair
6. Enjoy the process
7. Spend out
8. Identify the problem
9. Lighten up
10. Do what ought to be done
11. No calculation
12. There is only LOVE

Pretty simple, yet kind of profound.  Wouldn’t life be easier if we all followed these?

So today was my first day.  I have decided to pick and choose the different “resolutions” from each month and add a couple of my own.  Make sense?  To kick start my Happiness Project I will be making the following additions and keep track of them each day – giving myself a gold star for each as Gretchen would say.

• Clean the kitchen before going to bed (I am sad to say that this is hard for me! but Jason will be happy about it!!)
• Clean out the closets (time to downsize this place before we move – this make take more than one month!)
• Tackle a nagging task
• Use my To Do list
• Follow the “One Minute Rule” – don’t put something off that only takes a minute to do
• Observe the evening tidy up – pick up the toys, shoes etc before going to bed
• Try not to raise my voice as much
• Exercise – this is going to be another toughie – but there is no reason that I can’t fit it into my day

There you have it.  This is the start of something good.  I can FEEL it. And I plan to post my way through it.

Let me know if you have any tips on being a happier person, if you have done your own Happiness Project, or leave me a comment of support!